Thinking over filled.

This is boring. My brain, my mind filled with things that will make me upset. It's filling it up again.. Like the past. I don't want history to repeat but my mind just want it to. Why? Fuck that shit.There are times that I'll be jealous. Of cause it's about friend but I can't say out. No one belongs to anyone but what for I jealous? *sigh* stupid brain.. Not being only jealous. Also thinking that ime useless, I'm unwanted, I dont belong. Once I'm left alone this feelings would come. Last year I don't really feel that because im always with my clique, with ZulikAh. But it's different this year. I dint belong with anyone in the class. This is why? I don't know. You know, sometimes I really want to help, want to be there for people but either is I don't have the ability to help or I'm not fit to help them or I'm not the one they want help from.- "No matter how hard you try to cheer her up she won't be cheered up because you're not the one that she wants to be cheered up by." correct? Oh well.Am I to full of myself? Thinking that I've given so much but yet I still end up being sad? Too thick skin? Okay.. I'm thinking too much. Maybe soon people will get sick of me?Fuck the thinking.I want to have a true friend that will always be there us there so difficult? If nit at least try to be there. Maybe I'm not fit to be? Okay this make me wanna cry.. shit. Not gonna cry.I'm going to try to be alone if possible and focus on studies.That's it. Bye