You. Yup you. :]

I'm glad that in the end we are back. Maybe others may say I'm stupid but as long as I'm happy. But you know. When we have small arguments, it's because both of us don't want to lose. I don't know why, when we argue I dint feel like losing to you. I've told you that I lost my trust in you is because you were too close to her. And when everything was going on, you weren't there with me. I hope you were, so I'll know what really am I to you... You told me I was just normal friend all that. It actually hurt me. Having me to see how close you was with her, it hurts me and make me feel frustrated. And make me feel that I no longer have the rights to treat you well.. Though you've said you are not close with her and all but you choose to go to her then come to me.. I'm tired of getting hurt everytime in a friendship. My heart hurts so easily. I'm jealous I admit so what. I care so I'm jealous. I still love you as a friend. How I can disturb you like no one business, how I can talk to you, how I can walk with you, how my heart weren't so empty, so lonely. Though I know there're still friends that might care for me but their care is not really for me. They have their own friends to care about. I cant Stand being alone.. I feel lost, feel unwanted, feel that I don't belong.. You choose to go with her then come to me.. That Hurt me alot.. Even now, typing this I'm at the verge of crying yet I can't..(this is a joke) - I'm on the bus!!! Later cry ppl look at me how!!

I really hope the 3 of us will be like that time. I dont know if it's all right..

.... Why can't ppl understand me. I just want to have a friend that care alot about me and I also care alot about the person. Why.. Why so difficult.. Why ppl say that I'm a good friend and all why are they still treating me like this? Why are they pretending? Why are they saying words out so easily when they can't really do it?? Why? Why am I like this? Why am I so weak? So useless, so soft hearted... Don't say you appreciate it when you don't! I will take it to heart! Even though I will say I don't want to believe what you say but the fact is, the moment you've said it I believed it and remembered it.. Don't hurt me, don't make me cry, I will remember even if years pass by.

Hey you. Truly from the bottom of my heart. Just when I was about to give up on you, you came back.. But this time, can I really trust you? When you say it I will believe it. Yes or no? I need trust. Can you not go to others and leave me hanging one side like I was being abandon? I feel so useless.. But I know those friend care about me, but I feel like a extra because I know I don't belong, I am not suppose to get in there. I feel that my existence is not important to anyone. It hurts so much. Arghh.... *controlling*
I hate how That show ppl my frustration because you hurt me but when I am with you I forget all those... What aHypocrite I am..

I hate that I've been called betrayer.. Acting kind soul.. Was I pretending? What I've done was all an act?.. I cannot forget what words and action that have been thrown to me.. You know, being there for her, I don't know how many effort I've used, I dont know how worried I was, how I kept asking ppl to not make things big, how angry I was, how tired it made me that I even cried because I was so tired.. How I cried for her, how I cried knowing she feel hurt... How I tried telling ppl to trust her. For fuck I did that. All she did was saying she appreciate it. Fuck that. In the end she make everything worse for me and you and bra* Why the hell did I do that for her.. When her friends wasn't really there I was.. Fuck that...
All over now but I still feel... Frustration, Saddness..