My true feelings.

It took Me quite a long time to type. Suddenly when I wanted to blog, I've got nothing I could say. Or maybe too Much to say? Or too difficult to say?
I admit I screenshot. But I've made the person promised that she will not do anything to another person. And if she did my trust will be lost in her. And I want the clique thing to solve. It was painful to see the people I love/happy with cried like this. I swear. Because I cried together.
My question I've ask myself, did you really told them bout it? I don't want to believe that you told but is it really you? I'm sorry that I've lose trust in you. I can't control. Seeing you closer to her then with me. You knew I had green eyes. I enjoy disturbing you, able to make you laugh. You make me feel that I'm nothing to you, just like how I feel in the past from someone else. You make me believe what you have said. I did thought about going to same Jc with you. I did. But I gave up the thought after you had "abandon" me on the talks about poly and JCs in school. And I thought we could be still quite close after Os. If it was not because of the class tee. Nothing could have happened. So I hate the class tee. I wonder how you look at me now. Am I a hypocrite, samaritan, betrayal. You should know that I hope we 3 will be like how we used to be.
History is repeating it's self again. Once again I was hurt. Hurt by those people I care, hurt by what they had done, they had not done and what they are doing. I think it's all over now?
I can't explain how it hurts. It just does. So now you have her you no need me anymore. I'm not important. Suddenly you being close to her, which you do not really like her before.
I don't like what she have said, I know the feeling of loneliness, and I did not want to see her alone i want her to feel that there is someone still supporting her. Why was I so stupid doing that when she only use her mouth and say she appreciated and what she's doing it opposite way. I was a fool to willingly help her. I choose to not believe what others told me and trusted her. I was wrong doing that. Now I've experience it.... It hurts. Not being her, is because what are people around her reacting like..

I have choose to leave. I did not forced anyone to be my friend. They don't like me they can just tell me. I keep hesitating to leave because of you. But now since you have someone else. I think you dont need me. So it's pointless to stay and let you hurt me without you even caring how i would feel.

I swear that it hurts like mad. But soon it will not. You are probably the only one that'll read my blog. I'm telling you. You have hurt me in the end like how others did. But I thank you for being my friend. Thank you for making feel happiness before the class tee incident. Thank you. And goodbye as close friend. (only I treated you like one as you said I'm just a normal friend)

People made me see what I've choose to not see.