Today still did not talk to me and now did not talk to B* also.. At first thought she went with other friend so okay in then when the friend never wait me and B* realize so kinda waited for C* while walking with a classmate and C* walk pass us....
After pe talk a little then something happen and started quarreling as we text.
I was caring bout C* trying to ask her don't be upset. Yet she say I don't understand.. People telling me they dont understand because I'm not experiencing it makes me BOIL. Even if I had not experience it I can feel it. I can imagine and feel it I can imagine things happening to me and literally cry. Believe or not I'm not lying at all.
I want C* to realize that her actions and words she say will make people dislike it. Like "no friend" - I'm not praising myself or anything. Am I not there for her when she needed? Even if it's not my problem yet I get involve because I don't want people to get hurt ESP when it's like no one there for her. It's not pitying her. It's just I put myself in her shoe. People telling me to beware but I ignore, I trust her. But now she say she do not know how to trust. Then what's my trust for? Just an act? I'm really just a tools or toy? What am I? Aren't I there when she needs? You say don't want things to get worse but you are making my history to repeat. It's like I supported you be there for you. And yet because of not wanting to get into B* and I's close friendship and you gonna walk off? What I've done means nothing? You say you don't want to but why you still did it? Dont think about your own feelings think of mine as well. Do you think I did not shed a tear because of you? Sayin that we are not very close. But I was there for you. Am I invisible? Now what am I again? In the past I forgotten who am I. Did you forget who made me forget? Who make me feel like I'm nothing. Are you doing that to me? Really. I say I dot care I can't be bothered. Heck care you but I don't know why I cry for what today.
After I cried I just treat is as nothing and laugh but I mind. I just want you to be happy and be our friend is that so difficult? You say You hate people who assume how you feel? Hate huh? Now you hate me? What do you want me to do? What I did was all wrong?! I am trying to make you be happy. Is that so wrong? You are stubborn don't listen to people. hate it.
Don't trust me.. I did not even betrayed you. Hate it. Ignore us. HATE IT THE MOST.
It sucks being me. The"if I die will my friend cry?" thought is the question I've been asking. If I die will you realize I mean something? If I die it there a difference if I wasn't there? And some of the people wanted to there when you are sad/upset but yet you push them away...
It's like I'd care for you then you ask people go away. Then if don't care for you you'll say you've got no friends that care. - what you want us to do? Please recall did you do that? Today as well. You left the others hanging. To care or not to care.
We will/can still be friends it's not like I don't like you. I just want you to realize things people see when you did not notice it yourself. Sometimes others see more clearly then yourself so believe us. You are still my friend.
I'm just saying how I feel. I just think that no one will really come here. When I'm upset I will come here and post about things.
